After much thought and self doubt. I realized love is not a tally sheet. Love is a choice made from the heart to give unselfishly.
It’s not like love if you give so someone recognizes how much you give. It’s not love if you expect to get back because you give. It’s not love if you expect anything in return.
Sometimes love is give and take, a even trade, you hold them up and when needed, they hold you up. Sometimes, someone gives you love, for no reason pours love into your life, when you can’t give anything back. Sometimes you get to be the giver.
The last is the hardest and it’s lonely. It’s lonely because your not being loved back. It’s hard because no one understands. As you give society says your weak but you know it takes more strength to keep loving than to walk away. The one you give your all too won’t see how much you give, it’s possible they will believe they are giving to you. You know better because everytime you need someone or something, they are unable. They will blame you for their issues and push you away. They will be suspicious and keep you at arms length.
There is nothing you can do to help them understand your love except accept them for who they are and love them unconditionally.
Others might see this and say you’ve given this person until it hurts and they give nothing back.
It’s not a tally, there are no scales. They need unconditional love, they need to know what it feels like to be loved completely without limits. They need the opportunity to be be cared for without limit. They won’t trust any love but this kind and they will be wary of this.
This is the love that is needed. This is a love that takes more strength than most people have. More than I think I have most days. It is demanding and thankless. You will be judged and condemned.
If you’re lucky the other heart will heal and they will be able to love again one day. It won’t be the same person who gave unselfishly, but that person can be satisfied knowing they helped heal a heart.